I went to my first personal training session after joining a new gym.

It turned out to not so much be a training session as an intro to my trainer, which allowed her to ask about my diet, habits, and take my body fat percentage. I was a bit nervous, I haven’t talked to anyone about my eating habits in a long time. She told me I’m not eating enough, and clearly I am. She just got my weekday plans, excluding my weekend/fun nights. But regardless, she is going to monitor my eating habits.


And then she proceeded to take my body fat and showed me where I was in the chart. I’m in the “extremely overweight  category”. . . . .

I knew I’d gained some weight after I was in the hospital last fall, but I didn’t realize I was this heavy. I know I had a shocked look on my face, because she asked if I was angry or upset, and then she said we were done for the day.

I was (am) so upset. I couldn’t think of anything besides how much of a failure I was (am). I didn’t even work out, I just left the gym as quickly as possible. I could hardly breathe I was so angry with myself.

I don’t think I’m over the feelings yet. I just feel so much like a failure for letting my body get like this.


5 thoughts on “Today is brought to you by the letter “F”

  1. They are right – you’re not a failure AT ALL. Sometimes priorities change and you lose perspective – but that’s ok. The point is that you already wanted to be healthier (or else why would you have joined the gym/see the trainer?) – so instead of beating yourself up for where you are now, give yourself credit for making changes and working toward being happy with your body! And get excited for where you’re headed!

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