I went to my first personal training session after joining a new gym.
It turned out to not so much be a training session as an intro to my trainer, which allowed her to ask about my diet, habits, and take my body fat percentage. I was a bit nervous, I haven’t talked to anyone about my eating habits in a long time. She told me I’m not eating enough, and clearly I am. She just got my weekday plans, excluding my weekend/fun nights. But regardless, she is going to monitor my eating habits.
And then she proceeded to take my body fat and showed me where I was in the chart. I’m in the “extremely overweight category”. . . . .
I knew I’d gained some weight after I was in the hospital last fall, but I didn’t realize I was this heavy. I know I had a shocked look on my face, because she asked if I was angry or upset, and then she said we were done for the day.
I was (am) so upset. I couldn’t think of anything besides how much of a failure I was (am). I didn’t even work out, I just left the gym as quickly as possible. I could hardly breathe I was so angry with myself.
I don’t think I’m over the feelings yet. I just feel so much like a failure for letting my body get like this.